Bad Thoughts

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Sorry for the tad break guys! There was just a lot of things I needed to think about but I am now back to fill y'all in!

Bad thoughts - in my personal dictionary this can only have one meaning. Though I am not going to straight off put the definition out there, I will try to explain it in a way that you'll understand, without me saying any... anxiety trigger phrases.

Basically, these are the thoughts that:
I never had -> I heard of -> I was strongly aware of -> I tried helping people out of -> I lost myself in
-> I was rather distanced to -> I fell into completely

At the moment I have actually entered the stage of being rather fine actually and I am only thinking of these thoughts as weird memories, shall I say.

I do not recommend these thoughts to anybody ever, ever, ever. I think going through these rough couple of days with only these thoughts helped me get back to myself a little.

I have been messed up these last couple of years, it definitely isn't easy with many things, but certain people, situations have been bugging me especially. I scratched my phone - THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF THE UNIVERSE, I KNOW. Seriously, when it comes to me I have become the ultimate most afraid person of phone braking. I have gone through around 10 phones in my 5 year phone experience. So maybe the fact that I have a MASSIVE MARK on my new phone has triggered the anxiety? I guess it could've.

Something that I have realised though (and even pointed out myself) is that I haven't been as happy as I have been today in quite some time. I am ill at the moment and jee, I am so joyful! I managed to reconstruct my room (that's what I called the process of it haha), pull out all of the things in my to-do list and even get a little happier!

Basically, throwing this into one, if you ever have any problems you can come to me. I was always the person who didn't know who to go to because I felt they wouldn't understand. Truth is, even if I don't understand, I will try my very absolute best to help you, lead you to a better road.

When the stars shine bright and you're still in a fight
I'll guide you out to see the lovely light.

Love, GABBY