happiness and stuff.
I have been down in the dumps for a long, long time. I have normal days, when I don't have any main emotion, I'm just NORMAL. But the number of happy days is smaller that the bad days, which obviously isn't great.I wrote down my THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY LIST. Well, I did it in my head, but hey, I did it. Then I went off to Zoe's new video. What she said, was exactly what I needed to hear. Something opened up inside me, I started thinking straight. There is NOTHING around me to stress me out. Sure, life is scary, but at least RIGHT NOW, I have nothing to worry about! Happy? YES, HAPPY! Gosh, all I needed was to hear someone sticking up for me, helping me out.
Not gonna lie, not many people get the whole anxiety thing. Some say it's nothing, others don't understand, others don't care... Because of it and because of how people pushed me into thinking certain things and learning a way of life, I became that person people always felt was okay to push around. Everything was my fault, I was the bad person in every situation, I never had a life. People thought (and think) that it's okay to talk behind peoples' backs, including mine. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from my friend that I should go do something with my life. Why I don't talk back? Because I was taught to BE THE BIGGER PERSON and that's exactly what I'm telling you.
Truth is, I'm not 100% myself on my YouTube channel, I am here though. I'm just scared. I was made into a person who was supposed to throw out compliments and have my ears standing, searching for critique. And all that because of my friends. One day, I want to share this with my YouTube, so I can actually be my 100% happy self and edit videos like I wish, make videos that I want... Maybe it'll be tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe even in a year. Who knows?
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