idols

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idol

- an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship

- 

a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered

Growing up, I heard a lot about idols. At the age of 7, I remember my 13 year old sister walking into my room and talking about the people she admired and wanted to be like. More importantly, I remember her asking who covered those roles in my life. Naturally, wanting to connect to my sister, I started looking into people (females, as my sister only mentioned females) that I could possibly look up to and aspire to be like. That was my first experience with idols.

Later on in life, at the age of 11, I would listen to everything my sister had to tell me. She had more idols, different ones than before, and she would be more descriptive when talking to me about them. My sister would mention how she admired their fashion sense, their bodies and their lifestyles - their ways of living. I found that interesting - the idea of having a specific way of life that was admired by others - so I decided to look into it and pursue that, which was presented by my idols. So that was my next, more in depth, experience with idols, which stayed with me for the course of a few years.

A few years down the road, at 14, I was already starting to get to know myself better. The idea of idols was still engraved into my head, but that was when I discovered yet another type of idol: K-pop idols. Why is any of this of importance? Well, K-pop idols showed me, again, an entirely new perspective on idols and even an insight on the 'idol industry' I had never heard of beforehand. This industry presented the most stereotypical and polished form of idols, something I hadn't quite experienced before. At first sight, everyone has some type of visible flaw, whereas these idols seemed more reserved... which was exactly what made me more interested in getting to know them as people, not as their personas. That is how I suddenly stopped caring about lifestyle and started paying attention to people who inspire with their words and actions rather than their morning coffee.

The people who inspire me now are much different that those who I aspired to be back as a preteen. Nowadays, 'lifestyle' couldn't bore me less and in fact the single idea of it humours me. In a way, the idea of 'lifestyle' changed into single 'concepts' for me, which don't base themselves over an unrealistic whole, but instead over singular moments, which do not ease away from the difficult basis of life. In my opinion, my concepts were built off of my photography work, where I must search for an idea - a motif - which helps connect my work to a greater whole. Going back to idols, they are now people I am inspired by, not aspire to be. It's a much healthier way of living; I'm not forcing myself to think and act specifically like those few people and am still allowing myself to breathe as the human that I am, myself.

Conclusively, I have moments in my day when I think to myself "What would Min Yoongi do?". While working on a photography project I frequently wonder "Would Angel or Connor Franta take this type of photo? Would they be proud of it?". When seeing someone sad I ask myself "How would Natalie try and make this person happy?". Sometimes, however, I don't need to think about the perspective of any of my idols; at times, just a simple reminder that those people exist bring a smile to my face: "I am working so hard on this so that maybe one day I will be able to have a photo shoot with BTS and I will tell them, face to face, just how proud I am of everything they have done". I will be walking through a supermarket and upon seeing a carton of Capri-Suns I will think of Kerry and then have people stare at me while I smile at a box of juice packets. My idols do no longer present superficial or stereotypical values. Now, the purity of their existence is explained by my dream of happiness. What they do, what they represent (whether they mean to do so or not) inspires me to be better in myself. For that, in my honest opinion, is what idols should truly represent.

forever in love

with the people

who both literally

and metaphorically

have me in their arms,

handsome bastard - matty rose morgan