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We all have limits. I was about to explain the theory of limits, but doing so I would have you see this post only from my point of view and I wish for it to be open to all perspectives. So define it as you wish, I won't give any examples.
A couple days ago I took part in a poetry contest. I am a complete and utter poetry fanatic. Ever since I was a little girl in a ponytail, looking through the bookshelves in year 2 of primary school, the books I would most likely pick up were those with poems. Funnily enough, I still remember some of the poetry from those books, even though I read them 10 years ago. Anyhow, I love poetry, so I decided that I could take part in the competition and recite one of my all time favourite poems - William Shakespeare "Sonnet 40". This competition was quite the opportunity for me; not only would I be able to share my love for something, I'd also get an extra grade from English and a note that I took part in a competition. I was already set to win.
However, things rarely ever go to plan in my life.
DRAMA.
Sorry haha!
Alas, I have my own special limit and it even has a name. Olivia. She is basically a mixture of all the things I fear in myself - stage fright, anxiety, depression... Why Olivia? The name is actually one of my favourites. Olivia was born in a story that I started and never finished. She's both the best and worst part of me. She's my biggest praise and my biggest limitation.
No matter how well I recited, no matter how prepared I was, Olivia took every chance she had to break me down. Thus, I didn't get through to the next round. It was disappointing, I won't lie. The words of my teacher after the performance were perhaps the most daunting. Nonetheless, I left with a smile. The truth is, I didn't care. I didn't want to perform. I do wish to perform in the future, but I don't see myself reciting any poetry.
This doesn't pull me away from the fact that I must learn to shush my thoughts and clear my head. I can't go on with a voice telling me what I can and can't do. As for myself, I have made a sort of plan.
I find myself to be highly creative. I enjoy creativity to the maximum. I will keep expressing my verbal creations but only in a private way, without massively sharing them. I shall, however, try something different as suppose to my physical creativity, that being skating, dance and flexibility. I managed to pull myself into the splits in 8 days without being hard on myself and without anything daunting me in my head. This is the path I shall be taking. I'll see how it goes. The other parts of my creativity including photography, art and film will also be getting their time to shine but I am going to try to focus on the physical aspects as for now because they seem to be the only ones less tormented by my head.
You can do what you want in life. It's your choice. Have fun.
love, gabby
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