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Lately, as it is the end of the year, I've been trying to move towards a loving beginning of this new collection of 4 seasons and 365 days. I guess you could say that I don't like to wait to a new beginning and I prefer to start preparing sooner rather than later. You may be wondering what it is that I have prepared... or not, doesn't matter really. The actual conclusion of what I have started to change for the next year really isn't important. It's the act of what I'm changing, for what reasons and how. And alas, that is what I shall tell you.
As mentioned earlier, I plan to make this year the honest year of "love". Love is a word that resembles with me as a person as well as my personality very well. It's vitally important that I never lose sight of love in my life. Love is everywhere I look, in everything I think of, in- okay, the places of love is a title for another post. The necessity here is that I love love, simple.
This year, 2016 if you didn't know, has been a massive year of new love. I've fallen in love with many things as well as people. I have found a love for new instruments, new music, new friends and... more than friends (as clearly expressed in my last blog post). However, in this overflow of incoming love, I have missed the opportunities to express my emotions. That is why this oncoming year, 2017 for anyone who lives under a rock, is going to be a year of steady love. Okay, I honestly just chuckled to myself and it's midnight, I'm pretending to sleep. Of course there is no such thing as "steady love", I'm just being humorous. I also didn't want to use the word "ongoing" twice, but that's just a detail. Elaborating, by "steady love" I mean "middle love", something we've seen before, "ongoing" if I must use that word again. Now that I have experienced the excitement of the idea of love in my life, the eros of it all, I shall move on to the agape, caritas... the more refined process of thought.
I wish to express my love in unstoppable ways. The certain things I have in plan include drawing as well as painting, writing and creating music, sewing, photography, writing, dancing and skating. Of course there are many more but I don't want to bombard you with my thoughts (trust me, I have a lot of those). This year I have been dealing with Alexithymia - the incapability of naming and/or describing emotions. I blame the overflow of eros. That's why I want to calm down this year and just... compose. Whether it be words or notes - compose, create.
So as a safe beginning, I decided to bid farewell to over 300 personalities on Facebook and start fresh with a generously smaller number of people who could judge my actions. I have already done that with Tumblr (rosestarred) on which I unfollowed 5000 blogs... I didn't do it not to be judged though! No, I unfollowed those blogs so I could really submerge myself in love but only with the blogs that help me describe the words in my head.
Another thing I have done was tidy my room.
Not even joking.
My room is an eternal mess, the closest people to me know that. However I decided to change it up and actually try to make it connect to me a little more.
And funnily enough, this list is already moving to an end. The last thing I have done is prepare a checklist of "things to write" for people. It's easy to forget the amount of song ideas I have. That's why I have two gigantic notes on my phone, storing all of my original ideas for bigger bundles of words. I generally plan to write some beautiful things this year, people won't even know when it hits them.
But the last thing I plan to do, that is actually a little secret, is uphold a journal. I wish to draw, write, cry and document many of my adventures in a real life, 3D journal. And that's the one thing that I must start the new year with. The only thing I can truly only prepare now but start on the actual day.
The amount of love this year has been incredible. It's the type you come to think about at (now) 1 am. I shan't forget about it next year, that's for sure. So to all the people I love, thank you. You have already given me so much, but you have also inspired me for so much more. Thank you for existing and I wish you happy lives. If you wish to leave, I won't stop you, but please let me observe your actions from afar, just so my inspiration never truly leaves.
Thank you all, all you thank.
Love, GABBY
let love guide you
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