has it only been weeks?

437

Silence... makes you think, doesn't it?

Being stuck in a room crowded by my collections of almost 3 years gives me plenty to think about. That, and paraphrasing what my Angel said, "the overwhelming volume of people desperate to share details of their private lives online", are the two main streams in my conscious.

Though it seems to have only been a few weeks of being stuck home, I can share months' worth of stories and revelations I have come across; the pesky amount of chores I bore myself in order to have a sense of accomplishment during these times; the unbelievable unfamiliarity with my work juxtaposed with the constant use of music and time wasting activities.

I seem to be living in a broken mix of boredom and extreme fulfilment - searching for answers where questions have yet to be asked. Staring outside the same, unchanged, foggy window, I look at the larger amount of strange neighbours drinking their wine, having a good time, ignoring their children... regular stuff, it seems. My typically open window has been shut in order to protect my self-teachings from being heard; I must vocalise my thoughts, otherwise the silence makes me think too much.

It feels strange remembering the complain I issued towards my mother months ago...

"Oh, mother. How unfortunate I am to not have summer holidays this year. Me - a working adult - mustn't be able to sit on my fine ass for two months with no convictions. Oh, what must I do?"

And now... here I am. Not to say I am treating this as a holiday. As many have previously mentioned, this is a challenging time for many, including those with mental weaknesses and those who rely on particular routines to keep them organised and exercised (in which I partake). Now, not being able to see smiling strangers at work, greet a special someone with a hug, meet familiar friends in their designated jobs... it's an odd world. I miss people - I think that's fair to say.

How long it will all be, how we will come out of this? Unpredictable.

At the moment? With a freshly fixed laptop and a new list of things to do, maybe I shall accomplish the things that have always been waiting until I had more time.

This should be enough time... right?

lost,

mrm